How Do You Like Your Chocolate?

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, it’s hard not to think about love and chocolate–or, in my case, the love of chocolate. Those heart-shaped boxes with chocolate delicacies keep popping into my mind. I prefer the ones with the chocolate cream filling or nuts. By far, though, my favorite kind of chocolate is plain, rich, dark chocolate. Do you like your chocolate sweet and creamy, bold with a little bite, nutty and salty, or in the form of a Sprinkles cupcake? We all have our favorites, and there’s no convincing someone otherwise. And how about those you love? When you discover how someone likes their chocolate, how do you satisfy their preferences and still be true to yours?

These questions may be getting a bit too serious for the topic of chocolate, so let’s make a shift. I can equate chocolate to just about anything, so today, let's relate chocolate to communication and how we might adjust to each other and enjoy a different way to interact. In the communication discipline, there’s a concept called communication competence. Communication competence refers to the knowledge of effective and appropriate communication patterns and the ability to use and adapt that knowledge in various contexts (Cooley & Roach, 1984). This means altering our methods and preferences for communication to fit the situation's needs most effectively. A competent communicator keeps the goal of the interaction in mind and adjusts. Here are some examples of potentially competent communication with students.

Sipping Hot Cocoa and Listening

I like to communicate directly, quickly, and concisely, but that’s not a competent way to communicate in every situation. For instance, when listening to a student’s academic struggle, we allot more time for that interaction and remain more silent to allow them to figure their way out of their emotions. We talk less and try not to offer solutions. This shows concern and respect for the other person’s ability to solve problems and be self-driven. Sitting back, enjoying our hot cocoa, and listening patiently can be just the gift someone needs.

Chocolate Chips for Critical Thinking

Often, we want our students to practice critical thinking skills. In this instance, we might ask open-ended questions that guide participants in the conversation to examine underlying assumptions and conclusions before building an argument. These questions are like chocolate chips to pop in our mouths (or heads) and ponder. Some questions to encourage critical thinking might be these.

• What examples can you find that support your assumption? 
• What do you find about that example that supports your assumption? 
• Do you see anything problematic in that example? 
• After looking at that example, do you disagree with anything in the assumption? 
• Now that you’ve examined some examples, what’s your opinion about the original assumption?

Savoring Cake and Conversation

Whether flourless or traditional, chocolate cake is to be relished and enjoyed like a good conversation; every bite, twist, or turn in topic brings more delight and appreciation. Conversations with our students can be in small or large groups. They can encourage reflection on reading and how it relates to another concept in or outside the class. They can also question information and debate its accuracy. In-class conversations (online or in person) can transfer the ideas and concepts of the class to “real life” and career aspirations and goals. These conversations or discussions spark new thoughts and frame knowledge. How many times in your own experience has a discussion uplifted your thinking? Let’s intentionally offer these opportunities to students and savor them like a slice of rich, dark chocolate cake.

So, for February, our chocolate month, we enrich our communication with information about what it means to be a competent communicator. Developing that competence adds a touch of sweetness to our interactions and fosters well-being for everyone. Consider varying your communication to fit the moment and see what happens. And, of course, I hope your Valentine’s Day is filled with the delicious chocolate you love.

Cooley, R. E., and Deborah A. Roach, “A Conceptual Framework,” in Competence in Communication: A Multidisciplinary Approach, ed. Robert N. Bostrom (Beverly Hills, CA: Sage, 1984), 25.